My partner and I have been together for a few years.
Going on a first datewhether in-person or via Zoom, can feel like walking a tightrope. And there's a lot you have to focus on at once, such as trying to figure out what to say while wondering if you've fully wiped off all that spaghetti sauce from your beard. All of these pressures are why a lot of guys get nervous on a first date and end up missing their shot at a second one. You don't want that to be you—and we don't want that to be you, either. That's why we spoke with a few relationship experts to get their top tips on how to make your first date less scary, more fun, and super likely to land you date two.
My adult friends and I can talk—and have talked—about nearly everything. But when it comes to sex, we revert to our prepubescent selves, giggling at every anatomical term.
Or, we make jokes about it to mask our discomfort. Call it immature, or call it the product of an education that taught us little to nothing about the mechanics of sex. It can also bring to light unaddressed concerns in our relationships, she notes.
Sexuality, even incan be isolating territory to navigate on your own. Queen reminds us that, when the conversations go well, discussing sex with friends gives you a sense of who will be an ally when you need it most. Sometimes a community is out of reach, and the internet becomes a major tool in sex education. Sex Etc. Planned Parenthood also offers resources for safely discussing your sexuality in person and online.
So how do we actually hold these discussions safely, respectfully, and without making awkward jokes? Weiss suggests these questions as icebreakers, and using media as a vehicle for the discussion:.
Stages of intimacy
All of these conversations will vary based on your comfort level, closeness with the other person, and the depth of your relationship or sexual encounter. When talking about sex with friends, set boundaries and expectations of confidentiality so that each participant feels comfortable with the level of disclosure.
Outline exactly what you want from the conversation, as well. If you need more structure, Queen suggests selecting books or articles to read together and discuss in a book club format.
How great is that? Other things she suggests discussing:. Books and movies that made you think about sex or gender issues.
Sex and sexuality in the context of social issues LGBTQ rights, reproductive choices, and healthcare options. I learned that lesson the hard way, but at least I was able to inform others. Would you like to talk about it some more?
When dealing with deeply emotional questions about sexual relationships, sexuality, or sexual health, remind your friends that you can revisit the conversation at any time. I let my BFFs know that we can have the same exact discussion a hundred times if it helps them, and I mean it. Do you regularly talk to your friends about sex?
How do you navigate boundaries during these conversations? You can usually find her reading or writing, caring for her rabbits, or practicing at the yoga studio. Talking about sex solidifies our support network Sexuality, even incan be isolating territory to navigate on your own. Weiss suggests these questions as icebreakers, and using media as a vehicle for the discussion: "Could I get your advice on something that came up in my sex life? Checking in.