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How to talk to your ex

Ending a relationship can be complicated, and no matter who calls things off, one or both of you might find yourselves wanting to reach back out to each other. Maybe you just want to check in and form a friendly relationship, or perhaps you're interested in getting back together.


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Once a relationship has come to an end, basic small talk can feel a little awkward. If your goal is to win him backyou'll need to be intentional about how you communicate. Even if you're not looking to rekindle an old flame, good communication skills are useful if you want to remain friends after a break-up. Focus on talking about anything other than why you broke up, assuming you've already had that conversation, of course. Even if you haven't, chances are, you both know why you split, and dwelling on the negative past is not the way to win him back or gain any traction on rebuilding a friendship.

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Thinking of how to talk to an ex and how you can reconnect with your ex again? Every time you try to reach out to your ex over the telephone, it probably goes to voic. You leave a voice message, hoping that your call will be returned. After waiting for what seems like an eternity, your ex never calls you back and you get very upset. So, what is the next logical step towards getting your ex to communicate with you?

You might probably choose to send a text, private message over social media, or send your ex a personal. Unfortunately, all your efforts do not seem to help you get the response you want. And in the worst-case scenario, you might suddenly find yourself blocked. You are probably racking your brain to guess why your ex is treating you this way. Does it mean your ex hates you and wants nothing to do with you? Or does it mean that your ex is over you and has already moved on? Your heart weighs heavy and you feel like your hands have been tied behind your back.

There is nothing you have not tried to get your ex to talk to you. In order to mend your broken relationship, communication is critical.

The cause of most breakups

And if you want to know how to talk to an ex again, then you need to learn how to reach our to your ex in the right way. If you cannot get your ex to talk to you, you most certainly cannot get them to be friendly or fall in love with you all over again if this is your goal.

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At this point, it is worth to mention that the most common reason for an ex to stop communicating is YOU. No matter what relationship experts may claim, all break-ups are hard, emotionally draining and rarely mutual. Whether or not you are the one who initiated the breakupboth parties in the relationship would need to go through the various stages of grieving. As such, it is well known that the first stage in the grieving process is anger.

If you initiated break up, your ex is probably angry that you wanted to end things yet you are still trying to act like everything is normal. By sending your ex an endless stream of texts and messagesyou are only adding salt to the wound you created during the breakup. If your ex is the one who wanted to end the relationship…. When you are not giving them the space and time they need, they will feel annoyed and stay further away from you. Have you been trying to contact your ex via all the possible communication channels you can think of Whatsapp, s, Phone Calls, Skype, Facebook and etc?

When you keep sending your ex messages and keep calling after getting no reply, what do you think your ex how to talk to your ex think of you? Do you really think that will get your ex talking to you again or will that annoy your ex even more? Chances are that your ex would think that you are highly emotional and you are still obsessed about them after the breakup.

As a result, you would have forced your ex to go into defensive mode. So, it is understandable that your ex wants to stay away and avoid talking to you, in hopes of eventually discouraging you from continuing your irrational behavior.

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If you ever want to get your ex talking to you again, you need to understand two things:. So, why are you behaving in a way that is hurting your chances of reconciliation? Any person who has gone through a breakup can attest to the fact that the highly charged emotions that they experienced were mostly related to anxiety, impatience, and the desperation to want things to go back to where they once were with their ex. Since they are not even responding, you have become desperate and are trying even harder to get them to talk to you.

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Whether a breakup is only recently or a long time ago…. Your ex can smell your desperation to get back together from miles away. And that will deter them even more from wanting to reconnect with you.

Should you talk about them at all?

So, getting your emotions under control is one of the most important steps in getting your ex back. Once you are emotionally ready to contact your ex, then you can try the method below to make your ex want to talk to you again. So here are 2 powerful ways to get your ex talking to you again:. When you call your ex, it works to your advantage if it goes to his or her voic. This is because a voice message would make your ex curious and want to find out what it is.

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However, not ALL voice messages would yield the desired response. You may have already left a couple of voice mails, but have not yet received any reply and you are probably wondering why. Your voice mails came off as needy, desperate and emotional. If you fall under the category of individuals who have been seriously trying to communicate…. This incidental contact technique I am going to teach you requires that you take some critical steps.

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First, you MUST resist the urge to initiate any further communication for a while. Then let some time pass after your last attempt at contact.

What are your chances of getting your ex boyfriend back?

The second step is to choose a time when you are sure that your ex will not pick up your call. The reason why you have to pick a time when your ex probably will not pick up the call…. Your ex has not been picking up your calls, so each time you call…. And you are prepared to deal with the emotions that arise from this situation.

But if your ex picks up this how to talk to your ex, can you truly say you are prepared for a real conversation? Chances are that you might start saying things that could push your ex even further away and may even be told to never call your ex again. Now that you understand why you should pick a time when your ex is unlikely to answer your call. Please note that it is very important that you eliminate all emotional elements from the voice mail.

A great example of this type of voice mail is one where you tell your ex about things that actually interest them. Do not go into great detail as you are bound to deviate from the original plan and leave a lengthy voice mail that has a lot of rambling. Finally, off by saying that you hope they are well and avoid adding anything regarding your well-being.

After all, if your ex really wanted to find out if you were ok…. Moreover, you must strictly adhere to the general rule of not requesting your ex to call you back. This is because if your ex decides to call you back after you request them to…. The ensuing conversation may be awkward because you are not prepared for an actual conversation. You might fall back into old habits and start talking about your emotions….

These short and thoughtful voice mail will let your ex feel that you have a valid reason for contacting your ex…. Therefore, your intentions to talk with your ex are not to whine, beg or plead for a response.

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You simply come off as considerate, which is a quality that attracts everyone your ex included. Once you have left the voice message, be patient and wait for a response. Eventually, if the topic you were talking about really did appeal to their interest…. If you do as I have said above, it should have worked to open up the lines of communication between you and your ex. What comes next is that you need to create an emotional momentum that will guarantee that communication between two of you continues.

The first step in creating emotional momentum is to find out all the topics that you can use to either continue the conversation…. Having these topics at hand will make sure that if your ex decides to call….

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You will have something to talk about other than your breakup or your emotions. It is worth mentioning that these topics should not be those that you are interested in. Instead, they should be those that your ex is interested in talking about. Finding out these topics should be a breeze since you were together with your ex for quite some time….

And you should know what your ex is interested in or likes to talk about. For this strategy to work and get your ex talking to you regularly…. Make sure that each conversation you have with your ex lasts no more than 5 minutes. A conversation that lasts more than five minutes may bore your ex…. And that can potentially deter your ex from wanting to talk to you again in the future. And here are a few additional pointers to ensure that your conversation will continue to go well:.

If you do the above pointers consistently and be patient throughout the whole time, you will create a feeling of regret in your ex as well! Would you prefer to force your ex to talk to you because you consistently pester your ex?

Is it ok to talk to your ex?

Or would you rather have your ex actually look for, and contact you because your ex wants to? I finally contacted her back and we started texting and calling but it was slowly building. We met up one day after she got off work and kissed and then we went on with texting and calling but kept it secret from her mom.

My boyfriend broke up with me last Christmas and I understand every reason.

Save my name,and website in this browser for the next time I comment. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. Download FREE. Is there any way you can get your ex talking to you again? Why are you behaving this way? However, this cannot be further from the truth!

You Are Unable To Control Your Emotions Any person who has gone through a breakup can attest to the fact that the highly charged emotions that they experienced were mostly related to anxiety, impatience, and the desperation to want things to go back to where they once were with their ex. In your situation, you want your ex to talk to you. Here is a piece of advice… Whether a breakup is only recently or a long time ago… Your ex can smell your desperation to get back together from miles away.